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Are you sick of Calvinism creeping into our orthodox 21st century, contemporary, modern Christian church? Here are some tips and propaganda you’ll find useful to help rid Christendom of the satanic lie of sovereign grace (Calvinism).
Now, who was it that said we Calvinists were mean-spirited folks?
Here’s a little humor for the start of the weekend. Don’t ask me, I don’t know why the Buddhist is included among those denominations but I guess the author ran out of the latter (inconceivable!).
Me? I identify most with the Presbyterian response as I’ve been part of that denomination longest.
Yes, now you, too, can be as (in)famous as Todd Bentley! All you have to do is order The Do-It-Yourself Florida Revival Kit* today!
Just thought a little humor would perk you up before the Monday blues bite. 
* Taken from Hour 1 of The Way of the Master Radio, first broadcast August 21, 2008.
My thanks to Ed for plurk-ing this, therefore bringing it to my attention.
Jesus appears in cell phone picture; Source: The Inquisitr
Gee, Linda, you don’t need no “Jesus” appearing on your cell phone to know all that! Read the Bible!
Continuing his world tour of interesting locations, Jesus has popped up in Pensacola, Florida in Linda Square’s cell phone.
According to local media, Square pulled out her cell phone at Englewood Coin Laundry to pass the time and began scrolling through the substantial library of family photos stored on the device. There she discovered that she had been touched by the lord.
“The message that I got was that He was telling me that He was with me,” Square said. “I feel proud and blessed that I have this picture.”
Just to be sure that it wasn’t a hoax, Square checked to see if the image had come pre-loaded with the phone, or had been sent to her. Apparently it was a truly divine miracle.
“I feel that His message to me is that He is coming back, and He wants me to be ready when He comes. And He’s letting me know that He’s with me and that He’s beside me and He wants me to follow Him. And I’m going to follow Him.”
Source: The Inquisitr.
Hot on the heels of The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins comes this next literary best-seller:
Doh! Silly me, I should have known!
Lords and Bishops arrive in Sydney for World Youth Day!
HT: Living Journey.
My hat’s off, mate.
JULY 2008 — Vince McMahon, chairman of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE), announced today that revivalist Todd Bentley has signed on to compete on Friday Night SmackDown! as a featured wrestler in his organization. Said McMahon, “After watching Todd knee-slam a Stage 4 colon cancer patient in the stomach during the Lakeland Healing Outpouring, I knew he had what it takes to be the next Hulk Hogan.”
Read the full story here.
Photo Credit: “WWE survivor series” by )x(Nato)x(.
The good folks at Tominthebox.net recently learned that Benny Hinn has been granted the first official “sainthood” by Health, Wealth and Prosperity “Gospel” (HWPG) leaders like Creflo Dollar, Kenneth Copeland, Leroy Thompson, and Joel Osteen.
In a statement, Kenneth Copeland explained the rationale behind the decision to bestow the sainthood upon (Benny) Hinn:
“Well, the man has healed many,” said Kenneth Copeland. “And his ministry is worldwide, plus he’s got that cute little accent which really adds a sort of cultural flair to the whole deal. Overall though, we looked primarily at his bank account and his possessions. That man’s got a lot of stuff and that’s proof he’s got a lot of faith.”
I wonder what I might get if I revere this saint alongside the popes of the Emergent movement and the Environment (Al Gore). First things first though, I’ll have to print this out, get it laminated then stick it on my bank book!
Full story here.
HT: Team Tominthebox News Network (TBNN) via Daniel’s Place.
Originally posted by The Pilgrim at Defending. Contending.:
I’ve found a treat for you.
The following two short videos are of a Roman Catholic apologist leading a class on the defense of the Immaculate Conception. He starts off the conversation explaining his conversation with a Christian youth pastor (who evidently needs to spend less time playing games and organizing ski-trips with his youth group and more time studying the Word of God to know what he believes and why he believes it).
The speaker is interesting to listen to but my head really spun when this apologist and his class used the pure conjecture of worldly human wisdom (and very minimal Scripture) to dismiss Romans 3:23. When “all” doesn’t mean “all.” He also provided us with his “most important verse in the Bible” in an attempt to justify his point.
Now things get really interesting when one student in the class named Frank brings up a great point: If Mary was sinless, then why did she die if death is the wages of sin? If Mary was sinless then she would have never died.
I saw this advertisement on a Google AdSense panel on my blog, and being the curious person that I am, copied the URL and checked out the site.
What I saw had me in stitches. Though I can’t believe people will actually sell these, it will not surprise me one single little iota to find out that there is actually a market for this!
Sad, but true…
Heard this just this morning on Way of the Master Radio.
Todd Friel (TF): “The pope (John Paul II) might be beatified and canonized and become a saint. Made me think of a Bible verse. Dave is in Texas, on KDKR. Dave? Can you name that verse, sir?”
Dave: “I’m thinking it’s John 11:35.”
TF: “Which is?”
Dave: “Jesus wept.”
TF: *Uncontrollable laughter* “Well, Dave, perhaps a more appropriate verse than mine, but no!”
I’m sorry but I suspect that I, too, have a weird sense of humor, and I am laughing a little too hard now to write more…
Since my wife’s testimony was posted, I’ve met a few well-meaning people who have encouraged me to take a good, hard look again at how my opposition to the Mother was in error.
And I must say that, after much consideration and study, I agree with them.
Hence, it is our wish to now state that we’ll be returning to the faith of the Apostles and the great Church fathers, and follow the Roman pontiff in his guidance for our salvation.
For those who are still erroneously believing that the Roman Catholic is not the true Church, I’d strongly encourage you to do some serious studying for yourselves the history of the Church and our faith — not only from the Bible but from traditions of men passed down through generations that must be taken into consideration as they are on par with Scripture.
I’m back with another installment where I share with you my favorite blog posts in the past week:
Are you a Christian woman or man who is intently following Oprah Winfrey’s series on The New Earth or even A Course in Miracles? Well, stop!
You’re listening to a woman who “took God out of the box” and thinks that God is “jealous of me” in her own words! Instead of finding out for herself what that word ‘jealous’ means, she goes on a search for something “more than doctrine” then lands herself right smack into the occult teachings of people like Marianne Williamson and Eckhart Tolle.
She’s just full of herself, really. As my wife pointed out, if she could interpret “jealous God” as “God is jealous of me”, we all know just who she is centered on! And now, she’s misleading millions down a slippery slope that ends in a plunge into the bottomless pit called HELL.
No gimmicks (though some props like gold dust might be useful)!
If you have some knowledge of theology (even if it’s bad), have read the Bible at least once from cover to cover or even just some choice verses (it doesn’t matter, really), you are in place to have all that you covet beyond your wildest dreams without having to spend a single dime of your own!
Introducing…
Take your ministry to the next level. Walk in divine prosperity. Get the breakthrough you keep promising the sheeple. Drive the best cars, live in the biggest house, fly the best planes and patronize the best restaurants.
The Dummies guide tells you how to convince people to give you more money than they can afford to give you. But not only that, it teaches you how to make those people think you are doing them a favor by taking the money. We give you the secrets for convincing people to pay you their tithes BEFORE they pay their rent or electric bill. Do you want to make people financially dependent on you? We’ll tell you how.
Sorry, but this is too humorously true to pass up not posting.
20. You only curse around fundamentalists.
19. You leave your church because the sermon was not obscure enough.
18. You refer to your local assembly as “church,” “synagogue,” or “mosque” depending on who you are talking to.
17. Your blog is a rant about how everyone else rants too much.
16. You brag that you have never been pinned down theologically on any issue.
15. The only thing you are sure of is that others cannot be sure of anything.
14. You bring your own wine to communion.
13. You are offended when someone says they are going to “Preach the Gospel” or “Teach the truth” believing they should just “Tell a story.”
12. Instead of a tract, you carry a can of Play-doh in your back pocket.
11. Your web site links to Green Peace and the Democratic National Convention just because conservatives are against it.
Who would have thought that the joke that my wife always loves to use on me when I’d inevitably get lost while driving would have made it as a comic?
Yes, she’d always tell me that the reason why Moses was in the 40 years in the desert with the Israelites was because he, being a man, would not stop to ask for directions.
I don’t think I’m alone in this, am I? Not asking for directions is a manly trait that runs across all cultures, I say!
And I’m not about to become one of those sissy men culled into stopping the car and asking for directions just because my wife says so. Who cares if we are lost and petrol isn’t cheap anymore? We’ll get you there in time even though it does look like we’re horribly lost now.
Have a good laugh for the weekend, and Shabbat Shalom!
Footnote to the husbands out there: Heeding my tongue-in-cheek advice can land you in rather hot soup. Self-preservation behavior, including stopping the car to ask for directions, is highly recommended.
This is too funny not to post and share.
Presenting the CD set you have always wanted to own on the prosperity gospel.
Order today and receive a pair of gold plated prison chains! Hurry, limited time offer!
I usually don’t post these short little posts that do nothing but showcase a picture, video or audio clip but (with much apologies to my readers) this is too funny to pass up.
The Protestant in me made me do it.
Now, who was it that said that Christians have no sense of humor?
God is the one who gave us laughter, so naturally we can be funny people.
No, seriously, we can.
I saw this at Shalene’s blog and just had to share it with everyone else. Sorry if it’s corny, but it’s just so me (yes I can be the king of corny according to my wife, but I blame her family’s influence).
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Thoughts on faith and the Christian life of a Calvinist addicted to coffee and who loves to cook on his days off. This blog is rated “R” for REFORMED.
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. Copyright ©2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Text provided by the Crossway Bibles Web Service.
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