Writing about child abuse for the blogging event “Bloggers Against Abuse” prompted me to come clean about an aspect of my life that I am not really proud of.
I am a substance abuser.
In fact, to be brutally honest, there’s more than one substance — there’s tar, hydrogen cyanide, acetaidehyde, eugenol, formaldehyde, methanol, and a host of other chemicals.
Yes, it’s true, I am a smoker.
It’s a bad habit that I picked up from friends and colleagues back in the late 90s when I was backsliding really badly, along with quite a bit of swearing, partying, drinking, rock music, and pretty much a heathen.
I was still quite fresh out of school, and being a young man who was quite intent on fitting in, threw caution to the wind. Out went the teachings of God and my Bible study leader while my heart shouted “Hello, World!”
The habit got so bad that I had to have a stick every couple of hours. Even while working in a tech start-up in San Francisco, California, that has employee rules that could see me fired if I was caught smoking on office premises, I found ways to steal away to my car just to get a fix.
It isn’t that I didn’t try to quit, but it’s something that I have only begun to try doing a couple of years back. As you can tell, there’s been no success so far or else this post won’t even exist.I only started coming out of my backsliding ways a few months ago, and since then this verse has been gnawing at me, and I know I do need to kick the habit for good. Yet the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, very weak.
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
As you can probably imagine by now, this temple isn’t full of sweet incense but nicotine and the numerous noxious chemical fumes!
Whereas before I have tried quitting without God’s help, this time I am going to pray that my Father in Heaven make my life so miserable if I don’t quit and glorify Him with my body as an acceptable temple of the Holy Ghost.
Now all I need is for you, my dear reader, to chip in and kick my butt into actually getting down to doing it. As I mentioned, the flesh is extremely weak and I’ll need all the butt-kicks you can dish out.
And I’ll be ever more thankful that you remember me in your prayers that I shall be able to overcome my addiction to these sticks of sin.
Photo Credit: Jon Appleyard.
Related posts:
- Potty Mouths This is an observation of mine in general, and not...
- Diminishing Returns On Some Pet Sins I have some “pet sins” that often, to borrow a...
- Godliness Godliness is our spiritual beauty “The beauties of holiness” (Psalm...
- The Jewish Betrothal It’s amazing how, when placed against the light of Jewish...
- The True Christian Is an Enigma We must admit that the true Christian is a rather...
17 Responses
Stay in touch with the conversation, subscribe to the RSS feed for comments on this post.
Ma sh’lom’cha Isaiah,
I will pray for you but you have to do something for me, pray for me as well. My wife and I have been smokers for many years and have tried to quit numerous times. Being pregnant, she has managed to stop this time, I hope for good. I want to do the same. I am tired of being a hypocrite in my childrens eyes. Thanks for your honesty and your prayers.
God bless!!
Bobby
Make your life miserable unless you quit?
Instead, why don’t you ask Him for the grace that He is so very willing to give to help you kick your habit? Why ask for misery when all of it was already taken by Jesus at the cross?
:S
http://kidshealth.org/teen/drug_alcohol/tobacco/images_58379/1088439702291.lungs.jpg
http://kidshealth.org/teen/drug_alcohol/tobacco/images_58379/1088439914326.emphysema_lung.jpg
Good Luck!!!
My husband makes me sound so strong and noble, Isaiah, but truly without the nausea that God sees fit to introduce into my life when I am pregnant, that makes a cigarette just not worth the discomfort, I’m not sure I could have quit either. I actually prayed to God that He would make me sick, so that I wouldn’t want them. (Unfortunately, though it did make me sick, it didn’t make me sick enough and I had to really actually try this time.) I still want Bobby to smoke nearby, so that I can smell his cigarettes. It is a struggle that I will fight for the rest of my life, I’m sure. (I began smoking 20 years ago. I quit with each pregnancy but started right back up again when I was done nursing.) I shall be praying for you, and keep me in your prayers too, that I will be strong after the baby comes. Blessings and Shalom.
Dear Farinelli:
I would asked for grace, but knowing myself, I will need tough love to quit for good.
Shabbat Shalom!
Dear Uri:
Thank you for the visit and encouragement. You sure made a point with those pictures!
I don’t personally believe in luck but if luck is something real, I reckon I’ll need lots of it.
Courageous post, Isaiah. You have my most sincere prayers (as does Shalene). The three of us believe in a God who is able do we not?
Matt. 18:20 For where two or three come together in my name, there I am with them.
You will not be alone as you struggle to overcome.
I am praying for you brother. I was a smoker for 27 years and on March 19, 2003, I quit and there’s been no looking back since. This sounds clicheish but if I can do it, I know you can.
Dear Bobby, Shalene:
Thank you for sharing too!
You know what? My wife smokes too, so that makes us two rather alike couples thousands of miles apart. Now, isn’t that just amazing!
Shalene: I know how it is — sometimes when trying to quit I just try to get close to some smokers and depend on the smell to pull me through, lol!
I will remember both of you in my prayers. I pray that by the grace of God and His strength, we shall all be able to quit smoking!
God bless you both!
Shabbat Shalom.
Dear Michelle:
Amen! Indeed we do!
I thank you for the prayers and the encouragement. And I do hope you’re feeling much better, though I just tried to listen to the three videos at a go, and… I must tell you that I was going crazy for a good while there, lol!
God bless and keep you in good health.
Shabbat Shalom!
Dear Mike:
Thank you for the prayers and encouragement! I really appreciate the concern and fellowship that you guys have shown and shared.
Great to know you’ve moved from blogspot to wordpress.com, by the way. WordPress.com is so much better as a blogging platform than blogspot in my opinion.
God bless you, brother.
Shabbat Shalom!
Aww, I love your heart.
Dear Micki:
Thank you for visiting again, it’s great to see you!
I am always encouraged by your poems, and always look forward to your new ones as you have such a gift for writing them.
God bless you, Micki.
Shabbat Shalom.
Best wishes in your fight against addiction. Stay strong!
hiya Meth:
Thank you for visiting my blog and the well wishes.
I am trying my best to, but find myself faltering quite a lot, lol!
It’s never easy. Just remember that everyone fails and when you do, don’t let guilt or shame make you give up. Just pick yourself up and start over. If you are really determined, it will get easier
Dear Meth:
Thank you for the inspiration and the encouragement!
I have just been to your blog and I just want to let you know what a great job you are doing with your blog on addiction and meth.
God bless!