It used to be that I’d be the one sore thumb that will stand up against injustice and unfair treatment and actually fight for my rights as well as those who rally to me. It also used to be that I don’t give two hoots about what society thinks, and step up to the plate when it comes to issues that are close to my heart.
Just last Sabbath night I found myself being less gutsy than before, and questioning where my courage has gone. Is it age that has mellowed me, or has the courage just gone out because I am in a more comfortable situation now? I was taking a train home from work where there was a man, who looked to be in his 20s, standing next to me.
By all counts he looked normal — clean-shaven and bookish-looking in a nice pair of glasses, he probably could have melted a few girls’ heart at school. What made him stand out was the fact that he was repeating, in a rather audible voice above the noise of the train, verses of the Bible in Chinese. He would call out John 3:16, Romans 3:23, and other verses that we would use in witnessing to people ordinarily.
In between he would look straight at a person or two, then started on another verse. No wonder then that some people found him odd, and those who weren’t too shy about expressing what they thought of him shot him the “I think you are a weirdo” look.
I, on the other hand, was fascinated; Fascinated enough to want to start a conversation with him to find out what he was actually doing. Yet I was afraid to because I didn’t want those same looks thrown my way. However, by the time I plucked up the courage to do so, he had reached his destination and disembarked from the train. For the remainder of the journey I reflected on my courage.
Have I lost not just the courage to stand up against injustice, but more importantly, the courage to stand up for God? When was it that I started minding what went through the minds of a cabin-load of people if I acknowledged a brave soldier of God?
Is it age?
Or am I getting just too comfortable and complacent?
Or am I so afraid of losing some semblance of professional demeanor if I did talk to him?
In other words, am I letting the cares of this world get to me? Sure, it is easy to write and blog, and celebrate and praise God when we are in church or in the fellowship of other Christians or on the Internet with a certain level of anonymity. But what if a situation that involved certain danger and where I had to stand up alone and be counted for Christ presented itself, what would I do?
That question perturbed me then and still does today.
As encouragement I am re-reading the Acts of the Apostles, and saw how Stephen stood up to be counted and was the first martyr. Will I be of the same courage as Stephen had? What if the tribulation started tomorrow, will I have the courage to face what must surely befall us as Christians before Christ’s glorious return? I pray God that I will, and that He will give me the strength and courage to do so. So I might, by His grace and mercy, be found worthy of our Lord’s welcome into His kingdom.
Shalom Aleichem.
Photo by Gemma Grace.
Tags: Christianity, Courage, Persecution, Tribulation
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I vividly remembered conversing with my lecturer (in his late 50s) for Animation History.
He told also told me he was once a hot-blooded young man filled to the brim with ideas and comments.Furthering the conversation, he lamented that he lost it. He lost the zeal and fail to find the clause to stand up for what he believe in. (animation of cause)
I guess… it goes with age
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That’s a very different thing though, I would think.
I have lost some of that fighting spirit in me when I just stepped out of school, you know, the one where you will fight tooth and nail against your superiors if you detect any discrimination or unfairness?
Now I just live with it since I depend so much on the paycheck every month-end for a roof over my and my wife’s head.
But standing up for God is different. It shouldn’t be due to age or whatever else. The fire has to burn and burn bright. I am trying to find and rekindle that fire.
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I seem to recall being told about a guy who has does similar things: Singing worships songs in the MRT.
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Strangely, the older I get and the more I pray… the less daring and enthusiastic I would speak out against such incidents. Perhaps reality has taken a toll on me and somewhat shifted my reaction from the sheer adrenaline to a whole new context.
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Hi Sicarii,
I think the problem lays in the fact of what you said. It is so easy to be a closet Christian. I’m not pointing my finger at you, now. I’m just saying in general. I think it’s so easy to fall into the trap of fear that Satan sets for us. Though I enjoy it, writing was never part of my comfort zone. That is another reason why I share all that I share, besides wanting to be authentic and transparent. I don’t want my anonymity to be a hindrance to the word of God. I think you have done well to notice and acknowledge this in your life, and I will pray that you have the strength to rebuke the deceiver and his lies the next time you have the opportunity to be in a similar situation. Look at it this way, just because they can see you, doesn’t mean that you aren’t still anonymous. And vice versa. Blessings to you brother, and Shalom. -
hi Shalene,
Yes it does take courage to stand up, and I think it is going to be more so in time to come when more of the world comes against Christian values and those who uphold them.
Even upholding values is going to be difficult. Today we are bombarded from every corner with the temptations of the flesh, be it sex, gadgets or just plain consumerism. Even if you stay clear of mainstream media, the Internet is just as, or even more, dangerous.
Thank you for the prayers! You know, I must thank you for praying about my wife’s PC because just last week we managed to get a very good deal on a used set and it’s purring along now. So, yay, I have my own PC back now!
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i think its going on general nowdays but dont take that…. it might be that someelse present there might be thinking the same as u wanted tooo….
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hello Ankit,
Welcome to my blog and thank you for leaving a comment.
You might be right — that someone else might be also thinking the same thing as me. However, I am still quite disappointed that I didn’t have the level of courage that I used to have when younger.
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This is an age old issue among Believers. Remember Peter’s repeated denials just as Messiah had foretold?
Seriously, it’s good that you’re questioning yourself and your post has, undoubtedly, made those of us who tune in question ourselves too. I can’t speak for everyone, but for most of us here, I’ll bet there’s plenty of room for improvement on our witnessing activities.
Just this past weekend, I was at someone’s home who had a lot of artifacts on display that someone else had picked up for them while on vacation. One of them was clearly an Egyptian idol (I suspect others were too, but am not positive). I wanted to say something, but I didn’t want to offend their culture. They are Christian, but they also hold their culture very dear and sometimes I see that as a conflict. Previous religious discussions have lovingly revealed that they think I’m too analytical and that I take the bible too seriously (???, lol), so I hesitated as I didn’t want to be labeled as judgmental or even fanatical (which has also been alluded to). It’s been bothering me that I didn’t alert them about the idols for 2 days now, so I can totally relate to your scenario. The next time I visit them, I’m making a promise to myself now that I will speak up.
I think this is all a pride issue. A flesh issue, if you will. We are putting our comfort in front of His will and His witness. I pray that this flesh issue dies a sudden death in all of us and that our fire for YHWH becomes uncontainable, unquenchable and ignites everyone around us.
Thanks for sharing. This causes me to examine myself too, Isaiah. Appreciate it.
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You’re right — I find it very difficult to say something that I know will offend people or rub them the wrong way when it comes to their traditions. Although I’d actually kinda rant about it later, I don’t have the guts to do so right in front of them.
I guess we all have this fear of rejection built into our systems. I believe the fear of failure, of rejection and of being ostracized drives our daily existence and spurs us to be better people in some sense.
Can’t say I have been able to get past that as you have. Here, things can get a little too sensitive, lol!
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